i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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