Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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