i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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