its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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