thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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