i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
