At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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