Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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