Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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