So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he thought i was a dude.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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