it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
