is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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