I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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