her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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