Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
