During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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