I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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