North Korea, Best Korea!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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