I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
