is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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