I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
