If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Michael Bay diarrhea
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
