Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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