I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
her vagine was all disorganized.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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