You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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