Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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