Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
