You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
