I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
