Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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