Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
