Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
