Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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