how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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