so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
