We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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