I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
