I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you didnt know i had herpes?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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