I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize