this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
