how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
