$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Who died my cat blue again?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize