Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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