I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
there is glitter all over my balls
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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