so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
