don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize