just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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