You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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