Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
