we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
