He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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