Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
