The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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