I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
