I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
