my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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