as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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