what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
