Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
