I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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