He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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