I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
