and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
